At a new school In grade 7, on the very first day, I told my new friends I was going to the Olympics in gymnastics, competing against Nadia Comaneci because I thought I'd get more likes ;)
let’s say that charade didn’t last long
I was a professional Chameleon
I wanted to fit in everywhere I went - even it it meant dressing a certain way, saying things that weren't true, agreeing, joining the "cool" crowd, the list goes on
I’d walk into a room & very quickly adapt into who I had to be in order to “fit in”
Copious amounts of outside validation made me feel worthy, loved & accepted
Assessing others' reactions what to say to be liked, what to avoid saying to not rock the boat who should I be, what should I wear
Rarely speak my truth for fear of upsetting others or scared of what they may think of me
It wasn't until I committed to becoming aware of WHY I was a chronic people pleaser, why the deep desire to feel like I mattered to everyone else but myself, that the real healing began
Those were all Survival Mechanisms, Learned behaviour & Attention seeking
I was so tired of feeling the need to “fit in”. I was emotionally spent. I was hurting so deeply inside not walking in my own truth. It was physically emotionally & spiritually draining
It’s tiring performing and saying YES to everything
Starting down the path of self-awareness by acknowledging & breaking certain thought patterns that hold us in our current ways of life, is one of the hardest things you will ever do but it is the only way to change your life
You have to start from the root of where the actions are coming from - why the need to please everyone? Why so much anger? Why the addictions? Why depressed all the time?
The self-destructive routines and self-sabotaging cycles that we've done our whole lives will continue until we are willing to look at the deeper issues of why they are there
Personally
I had to focus on my deeper desire to want to “fit in” —- where was that coming from
I had to Learn to love myself & feel like I belonged just for being alive without having to FIT IN anywhere
Changing the conversation within myself every single day has been paramount - COPIOUS amounts of Self Care, compassion, Self Love - healing in the inner child has been the gamechanger
Does any of this resonate with you? I think we all have a little People Pleasing in each of us... we are human -
We’ve been created for Connections & BELONGING
Not to morph into someone else to “fit in”
Belonging allows us to show up as we are never betraying who we are
Sending massive love to you ... KK xo
